Pop culture obsessives writing for the pop culture obsessed.
Pop culture obsessives writing for the pop culture obsessed.

Apparently, Trump is an alien hybrid and his COVID diagnosis was all part of a nefarious alien hybrid plan

Illustration for article titled Apparently, Trump is an alien hybrid and his COVID diagnosis was all part of a nefarious alien hybrid plan
Illustration: Victor Habbick Visions (Getty Images), Photo: Mandel Ngan (Getty Images)

As if we haven’t heard enough conflicting information about Donald Trump contracting COVID, a new, very plausible theory has arrived to complicate our understanding of the situation even further: Trump infected himself on purpose because he’s an immortal alien-human hybrid who’s using his illness as a distraction from his species’ secret plans.

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This information comes from Vice by way of an article rich in valuable facts about what’s really going on right before our eyes. Richard Van Steenberg, an interviewee (unfairly!) described as holding views that “are fringe even for [fellow conspiracy theorists”], tells us that, “if you take the time to understand the possibility of ET being able to exist in Humanoid form (Humanoid ET), you would realize that they can live among us and we will just think they are EA (EArthlings.).”

It only follows from this logical foundation (that you would understand if you EArthlings just took some time to look into it) that many of our “celebrities or corporate CEOs” are actually “alien-human hybrids” currently working “to subvert humanity and take control via psychological manipulation.”

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“The plan has been in action since they put us on the planet as cavemen,” Steenberg tells VICE. “I would say Trump is either a HET [human alien hybrid] or CEA [a human complicit in the alien plot] in that he has known what is going on certainly for the better part of his public life on EArth and would have known early on he would be President ... If he’s an HET [human alien hybrid], it’s very probable he existed before EArth and took part in the design of the ETA [the plot to invade].”

We’re told that HETs are immortal, able to shapeshift into any form they like, and that Trump only got COVID before the election in order to take our attention away from us possibly discovering the hybrids’ plans. The article also mentions Sherry Shriner, who died in 2018 but not before inspiring followers who have learned from her understanding “that Satan had contracted evil Reptilian aliens to take over the world” and that these freaks now hide among us as celebrities and government leaders. According to her followers, “Trump contracted COVID-19 because he is actually under the command of Satan.” While we don’t believe this theory, knowing that they’re a distraction technique meant to keep us off the trail of the HETs, these followers present evidence like Trump contracting “the virus 33 days prior to the election” in some connection to 666 and, naturally, “prophecies found in the Nicolas Cage film Snake Eyes.”

Read the entire article for yourself for more, potentially life-saving factoids on Trump, the HET agenda, and, for all of you willfully blind skeptics, why people are so into these kind of conspiracy theories.

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Contributor, The A.V. Club. Reid's a writer and editor who has appeared at GQ, Playboy, and Paste. He also co-created and writes for videogame sites Bullet Points Monthly and Digital Love Child.

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