Full House

According to The Hollywood Reporter, A Beautiful Mind writer Akiva Goldsman will soon be directing Stephanie, a “horror-thriller” about a scary little girl. The film will star Fringe’s Anna Torv, Captain America: The Winter Soldier’s Frank Grillo, Sons Of Anarchy’s Kenneth Choi, and professional little girl Shree Crooks. After being abandoned by her parents, Crooks’ character (the Stephanie from the title) must fend for herself by living off of “peanut butter and conversations with her toy turtle”—which is so bizarrely specific that it must be plucked from the backstory of a screenwriter with a deeply troubling past. Anyway, the parents eventually return for some reason, and they discover that “dark supernatural forces are wreaking havoc, with Stephanie at the center of the turmoil.” That’s as far as THR plot rundown goes, but we imagine the aforementioned turmoil involves Stephanie accidentally driving a car into the kitchen and then commenting on how rude everyone is.

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