Into The Woods

Here at The A.V. Club, we try to propagate the myth that famous people are better than normal folk, part of the ancient covenant between celebrities and the media that was written in blood many generations ago. But some celebrities, presumably acting from either a deep generosity of spirit or a desire to see poor entertainment writers thrown out in the street for lack of work, make that job almost too easy. Case in point: Actress, singer, and soon-to-be published author Anna Kendrick, who has just received a book deal from Touchstone to express the same tone and wit displayed in her popular Twitter account in a series of autobiographical essays.

Here are a few examples of Kendrick’s tweets, to give an idea of the sort of quality readers might be able to expect:

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So, the book seems like it might be the perfect gift for anyone equally irritated at not having seen that dude’s dick. Kendrick has issued a press release about the book deal, presumably in between recording another hit song and being way chiller than a person who’s this famous has any right to be:

“I’m excited to publish my first book, and because I get uncomfortable when people have high expectations, I’d like to use this opportunity to showcase my ineptitude, pettiness, and the frequency with which I embarrass myself. And while many of my female inspirations who have become authors are incredibly well-educated and accomplished comedy writers, I’m very, very funny on Twitter, according to Buzzfeed and my mom, so I feel like this is a great idea. Quick question: are run-on sentences still frowned upon? Wait, is ending a sentence with a preposition still frowned upon? I mean, upon frowned? Dammit!”

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Basically, yeah, Anna Kendrick is cooler than you, and us, and pretty much everybody. Professional inquiries about whether she’d like to become best friends had yet to be answered at press time.