As Larry King can attest, the key to staying forever young is retaining a childlike wonderment about even the most mundane of subjects—hence 60 Minutes’ resident solipsist Andy Rooney and his recent announcement that he plans to keel over in the middle of a rant about why today’s movies are too loud and sneakers are too complicated, and that he won’t leave the airwaves one second before. “"How long am I going to work? How long am I going to live? That's the question," Rooney said in an interview with tvnewser.com. "I will work until I drop, or until I lose my head. Until somebody tells me different, I'm not going to quit." Rooney says he’s maintained a seven-days-a-week work schedule for his last 34 years at the show, as it apparently takes that long to compose a two-minute screed on why a 91-year-old doesn’t “get” the need for Lady Gaga when there are already plenty of Sting albums to listen to. “My work is as good as it ever was,” he added, which is hard to argue with.

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