Pop culture obsessives writing for the pop culture obsessed.
Pop culture obsessives writing for the pop culture obsessed.

Andrew Callaghan and crew return as Channel 5, stare into the dark heart of Miami Beach spring break

Andrew Callaghan interviews Florida beachgoer.
Andrew Callaghan interviews Florida beachgoer.
Screenshot: Channel 5

At last, Andrew Callaghan, Nic Mosher, and Evan Gilbert-Katz—the guys behind All Gas No Brakes—have returned. After announcing last month that they’d left the show due to a contract dispute, the team has regrouped as Channel 5, a Patreon-funded YouTube channel that looks to continue where All Gas No Brakes left off in documenting the absurdities and horrors of modern life. First up: A video about what it’s like to attend Miami Beach spring break during a pandemic.

The format of the debut Channel 5 clip is pretty much what anyone familiar with the old show would expect. Callaghan walks around in an oversized suit, interviewing the cast of characters assembled in Miami Beach to shotgun Bud Light seltzer, chest-bump, and basically spit in the face of the deadly virus before the city tried to reverse-course on welcoming tourists with a curfew and brutal police crackdown.

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There’s a guy who stares, unblinking, at Callaghan after asking if he’ll “come eat ass with me tonight,” a couple of meatheads who yell at the women with them to flash the camera before one says his friend has “got cases all over the beach,” someone who absolutely loves Vans, a group of “horny vlogger” creeps, a little kid who tells the news he “just can’t get any peace” in his city, and many, many others.

The pandemic, naturally, comes up a lot. “I think corona got canceled,” one guy says. “The pandemic is real, bitch, but guess what? We’re young, bitch! Travel!” another states. A man at the end of video clearly and concisely sums up the thinking behind him visiting Florida for spring break despite understanding the dangers. Another just says, “Fuck COVID. It’s like the flu.”

The new show’s Patreon states that the team “[hopes] to expand Channel 5 internationally, purchase a wrapped news van, and ideally, hire a fleet of correspondents to ensure that no major event goes uncovered, from Greenland to Afghanistan.” To this, we lean into a microphone with unfocused eyes and spray globules of spit while yelling, “Hell yeah.”

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Contributor, The A.V. Club. Reid's a writer and editor who has appeared at GQ, Playboy, and Paste. He also co-created and writes for videogame sites Bullet Points Monthly and Digital Love Child.