Photo: David L Ryan (Getty Images)

In what we can only assume is some kind of supervillain-ass effort to flood the entire planet in the tears of struggling, broken musicians, we’re procedurally mandated to report today that an algorithm now has a record deal.

Specifically, The Guardian reports that Warner Music has just signed a 20-album deal with German automated music company Endel, which uses factors like time of day and requested mood in order to generate “bespoke soundscapes” to help users relax or rev up, or whatever. Now, 20 albums certainly sounds like a lot, until you realize that Endel is a robot, and it’s already knocked out five albums this year. But fans busy rocking out to classics like Clear Night or Foggy Morning are in luck, because god knows there’s now a whole lot more on the way.

The deal was apparently shepherded by Warner executive/species traitor Kevin Gore, who noted that he was “certain listeners enjoying these new albums will benefit from reduced anxiety and improved mood,” especially once tracks like “Monday Morning At The Biomass Conversion Farm” and “Your Flesh Rots, We Do Not” start blowing up the charts/pitiful human infrastructure we all depend on to survive.

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Of course, we can rest easy in the knowledge that, while music might have fallen to the machines, there are still some creative disciplines that are entirely immune to this kind of crass, machine-generated Avengers Kanye Ghostbusters, you won’t believe what this super-hot celebrity said next.

Correction: A spokesperson for Endel contacted us shortly after this article posted, informing us that the deal with Warner Music Group’s Art Music division is only a distribution deal, and not a “record deal” in the traditional sense. They also highlighted that the 20 albums being released were only meant to be examples of the kinds of soundscapes the program can produce, and emphasized that “Endel is in no way trying to replace musicians, these albums are just a demo of what the app does with these human-generated inputs on the app.”

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