Photo: Don Arnold (Getty Images)

America honored one of its most celebrated traditions yesterday, as people around the country came together with friends and family to cherish each other in the warmth of the holiday spirit, followed abruptly by them then fucking off straight to the movie theater, because one afternoon of cherishing Uncle Davey is about as much as we, personally, can take. Luckily, Hollywood’s burliest, most looks-like-he-smells-like-kelp-musk lifeguard was there to drag people out of the cold waters of awkward familial conversations, with Warner Bros.’ Aquaman kicking the ever-loving shit out of the Christmas box office this week.

Per Variety, Jason Momoa and Amber Heard’s underwater shenanigans were the undisputed masters of Tuesday’s ticket sales, with its $22 million intake nearly doubling the money brought in by Disney’s Mary Poppins Returns. That’s not quite Star Wars money—The Force Awakens still holds the Christmas record, at $49 million in a single day—but it’s enough to bump the film’s global box office up over $500 million, putting it on track to make Aquaman the first movie in the studio’s flailing DC Extended Universe to crack the $1 billion mark. It’s not clear what that’ll mean for the franchise’s current slow disintegration into individual filmic fiefdoms—the movie acknowledges the events of Justice League, but its after-credit scene is more interested in setting up an Aquaman 2 than any kind of wider, interconnected network of movies—but it does suggest that Warner Bros. might want to consider trying to make every day…like Christmas.

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