Amber Heard in Magic Mike XXL

Today in “Reasons Why The Australia Tag Exists”: The Wrap reports that Amber Heard will plead not guilty to violating the dog importing laws of the land Down Under, which will henceforth probably be known as the “Way To Bring Us All Down Under.” Heard, who’s been in Australia while husband Johnny Depp sashays and swashbuckles, has become the focus of the dog-smuggling investigation after the Australian government failed to punish Depp on the same charges. If you’ll recall, the couple flouted Australian animal quarantine laws by bringing two Yorkies into the country without going through customs first.

That oversight, which presumably was the result of Depp being in a hurry to get into make-up (that eyeliner alone must take half an hour), is not something that Australian officials are willing to overlook. Heard has been charged with two counts (one for each Yorkie) of illegally importing dogs into the country. The maximum penalty for the canine crimes is 10 years in prison—Australian prison—or a fine of $75,000 (at least they’ve banned that booting punishment). The actress released a statement via NBC News, stressing that her decision to plead not guilty to the charges does not in any way “diminish the importance of Australia’s laws.” The couple’s dogs have been safely returned to the United States, contrary to Depp’s jokes about having dined on them.

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