The “Beat The Boss” phone—a Bluetooth headset that doubles as a traditional cellphone—is basically Derek Zoolander’s tiny phone, only meant to be slipped up your ass. See, its lozenge shape lends itself to easy insertion while its lack of metal makes it impervious to metal detectors, thus establishing it as the go-to phone for smuggling into courtrooms or jail cells.
A product such as this isn’t one you’d want to buy sight unseen, which is what’s led to its robust collection of Amazon reviews, wherein users share just how well they feel it “beats the boss.” Many were pleased, with one user calling it a “brilliant little phone” and another saying it “Didn’t hurt my bum at all thanks guys :)”.
If the reviews are to be believed, however, shoving the phone up your ass is easier than putting in its SIM card, which apparently must be inserted “upside-down.” Also, Amazon user Customer is here to remind us that the device is all business: “Worse prostate massager ever,” they write, “okay phone.”
There’s also plenty to pore over in the questions & answers section, though tread carefully. Discussions regarding its waterproof frame get pretty gross.