Former Playmate of the year Raquel Pomplun and Hefner (Credit: Tommasso Boddi/Getty)

Hey, you having fun? It’s a pretty good party, right? Sorry about the 14 different kinds of VD in the pool grotto next to the mansion. But life is all about taking chances, right? Anyway, we know you were worried about what was going to happen to that documentary miniseries about the life of Hugh Hefner that was in production. You know, American Playboy: The Life Of Hugh Hefner? Well, you’ll be happy to know it‘s all taken care of, baby: Deadline reports the 13-episode series has been picked up by our good buddy, Amazon. You remember Amazon’s streaming service, right? What’s that? No, Netflix had some prior obligation tonight, but we’re sure it’ll call back soon. Now, why not relax, pour yourself a drink, and join Amazon and us on the bed over here?

Those shoulders look tense; how about a nice massage? How about we—how’s that? Oh, no, that must be somebody else’s copy of The Game, not sure how that got there, ha. Anyway, as we were saying—let Amazon just put on some Barry White while we talk—the show will cover the rise of Hefner and Playboy from before its 1953 launch, all the way through the next six decades of his career, right up to the present day, where he’s still sexin’ the ladies, am I right? Oh, sorry, didn’t mean to make you gag. Of course we can hold your hair back while you vomit.

Now, where were we? Oh, right—since you asked, yes, it will include his good works as a supporter of social justice movements, particularly his efforts in support of pro-choice legislation and same-sex marriage. Not sure what you find cool about that, not when we have this ”truth or dare” card game just sitting right here…Eh? Oh, the docuseries makers had access to more than 17,000 hours of footage and 2,600-plus scrapbooks from Hefner’s personal archives. So it should be a pretty definitive story, albeit one that views it all through the classy rose-and-sexism-tinted lenses of Hefner’s own ideology, since he’s deeply involved with the production. Anyway, what do you say we just lie down and talk about our hopes and dreams, and maybe we can get comfo-hey! Where’re you going? I was just about to pop in this awesome Girls Gone Wild tape!