Pop culture obsessives writing for the pop culture obsessed.
Pop culture obsessives writing for the pop culture obsessed.
Illustration for article titled All right, it’s time to watch the “high abuse” toilet flush things
Screenshot: MetcraftHET (YouTube)

The final weeks of 2019 were a reminder that “toilet discourse” is always ready to erupt—that it bubbles and roils in the world’s collective gut, just waiting to burst out when least expected. Perhaps wishing to refute a key point in the last go-around of toilet talk—that the president believes the environment is in danger due to people needing to flush 10 to 15 times per use—the waste wizards at Metcraft HET have unveiled a video showing the unbridled power of their “high abuse” model.

In a captivating display of toilet might, the clip shows a tremendous array of items being sucked down into the hungry maw of a stainless steel throne. 40 golf balls, like pellets from some prehistoric rabbit megafauna, disappear with no trouble. 600 acorns are forced down into the abyss with five pounds of gummy bears, seven tampons (with applicators and wrappers), and 30 feet of toilet paper soon to follow. Most graphically, a 12-inch chocolate long john doughnut is flushed away with apparent ease.


Nothing can defeat this toilet. Nobody—not even the president and his goopy old ass—can present it with a challenge it cannot overcome. The “high abuse” toilet renders all discussion of bathroom use and etiquette obsolete. Please, Metcraft HET, create one of these things in solid gold, send it to the White House, and save us all from ever having to entertain the bad old conversations from last year ever again.

[via Boing Boing]

Send Great Job, Internet tips to gji@theonion.com

Contributor, The A.V. Club. Reid's a writer and editor who has appeared at GQ, Playboy, and Paste. He also co-created and writes for videogame sites Bullet Points Monthly and Digital Love Child.

Share This Story

Get our newsletter