Dr. Spiros Frangos is Director Of Trauma/Critical Care at Manhattan’s Bellevue Hospital Center and an NYU School Of Medicine Professor Of Surgery. He is obviously very good at what he does, and admirable in his dedication to saving others’ lives. But Dr. Frangos, we’re sorry to say, also seems like the kind of guy who’d be a real pain in the ass to watch movies with.

In a video from Vulture, the good doctor is shown a series of film clips where characters are injured. He then shares his medical opinion of how badly these characters would be fucked up from the sort of knocks they’re usually shown walking away from.

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After endearing himself by stating that he considered Beverly Hills Cop “a true classic,” he begins his grim work by explaining that Eddie Murphy being tossed through a pane of glass would probably not have escaped from being “cut across his face, his scalp, [or] his hands.” Though we can excuse this from a comedy, Dr. Frangos also wants us to know that a scene from Mission: Impossible - Ghost Protocol where Tom Cruise emerges from a car that just dropped several stories shaken but otherwise alright would more likely have resulted in “sustained major trauma throughout his body.”

He also touches on everything from The Fellowship Of The Rings’ tragic climax (“an arrow can impede the local muscles from appropriately moving”) and Training Day (“getting shot in the backside: not always a funny thing”) to Gangs Of New York’s bloody, gut-stabbing finale (“the one problem I have with this particular scene is the fact that, when he pulls the knife out, there’s a spray of blood that hits Leo in the face”).

Overall, we get a solid rundown of how horrific most of the stuff we watch for entertainment would actually be if it happened to a real human body. Somehow, though, despite the range of injuries covered in the video, Vulture failed to ask Dr. Frangos about the real-life effects of sawing off your own possessed hand after it’s brutally attacked you for several minutes, perhaps because the scene is believable enough as it is and requires no insight from a medical professional.

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