Besides being “The Godfather of Shock Rock”, Alice Cooper is also apparently A Drunk Guy Trying To Walk Through A Drive-Thru, because yesterday he was inducted into the White Castle Craver Hall of Fame. Cooper dropped by White Castle’s Columbus, Ohio headquarters for a ceremony that included singing “No More Mr. Nice Guy” with local band Misfit Toys, as well as regaling a crowd of 250 white people in polo shirts with tales of his lifelong love affair with the brand.

“We didn’t grow up on McDonald’s, we didn’t grow up on anything [else], we grew up on White Castle,” Cooper said, seated in a suburban conference room across from a guy in a White Castle tie. “I never lost the craving for them…We played Detroit every Halloween, and I would always take the latest flight out back to Phoenix. I would have the guy stop, get a bag of White Castles, get on the airplane, and everybody on the airplane would go ‘I’d give you $5 for one of those’.”


Cooper went on to propose the idea of a White Castle aftershave—which would seem like the ramblings of a an aging, drug-addled madman, until you remember that they actually made a slider-scented candle not too long ago.