Look: There are very few, bordering on zero, instances in which it’s morally good or proper to prank call the people stuck operating the ongoing, slogging hell of a public phone line. But if there were (we’re saying if), said phone line would probably be Rudy Giuliani’s bullshit voter fraud reporting hotline, and the way to do it would be if you were Alex Hirsch, calling in the voice of multiple characters from your beloved cartoon Gravity Falls, and reporting Hamburglar-related vote theft.
Hirsch has so far posted (via Twitter) two calls to the Giuliani hotline tonight, which is one of the Trump campaign’s various obnoxiously transparent attempts to gin up fake concerns about voter fraud that is, in fact, the simple action of democratic enfranchisement. In one of the two calls, Hirsch merely uses a voice that sounds a lot like good-hearted Gravity Falls resident Soos Ramirez, informing the rightly beleaguered line worker at the “Trump war room” about some robble-robble-adjacent robberies. In the second, though, Hirsch invokes the name and tone of Stan “Grunkle Stan” Pines himself, proudly taking credit for a whole bushel of vote theft, a daring daylight robbery in which he also “waved to the crowd, “blew them kisses,” and demanded that Rudy give him a medal.
And yes, we know this flies in the face of soon—god we hope it’s soon—to-probably-be-president-elect Joe Biden’s calls for civility in the face of likely victory. But also, it’s very fucking funny, on a night where we’re so goddamn exhausted that the concept of laughter seems distant and remote. Cut us a break, and issue an APB for a man who’s burgling hams.