It seems the human residents of San Francisco aren’t the only ones upset with the ever-growing techie population and untenable housing market of the Bay Area. Evidently, bird residents are just as unhappy with the way their city has changed and recently they’ve been making their opinions known in the only way birds know how: Dive-bombing random pedestrians and pecking them in the damn head.
In the city’s famed Castro district, an area where rental prices range from flabbergasting to unfathomable, a group of small birds in front of a Safeway supermarket have been stealthily attacking people, presumably because they think these bipeds are gentrifying their neighborhood and supplanting native bird culture. Of course, the more plausible theory is that these birds are acting so territorial because they have some newborn babies in their nests and anyone who gets too close is seen as a threat. Though, considering the birds of Northern California were the inspiration for Alfred Hitchcock’s The Birds, this bold new aggression could just be phase one of their ultimate plan to reclaim the land for themselves. Like most Bay Area natives, these cranky birds have been lying in wait for the tech bubble to burst. But perhaps they got tired of waiting.