From deep within the subterranean hideaway of ruthless supervillain/president of ABC Entertainment Group Paul Lee, a decree: The American public must wait three more months to get Muppets on their TV. In a ploy to swing felt, foam, and pork futures—thus creating the economic distraction necessary for Lee’s next grasp at global domination—The Muppets will debut near the end of the fiscal year, Tuesday, September 22 at 8 p.m. Other 2015-16 ABC premieres will follow in short order, with Blood & Oil and Quantico bowing after Once Upon A Time on Sunday, September 27, and Dr. Ken joining the Friday night lineup on October 2. The L.A.-set anthology drama Wicked City begins Tuesday, October 27, when the Shark Tank spin-off Beyond The Tank is taken offline. (Because even evil masterminds have to schedule routine Shark Tank maintenance.)

The complete list of ABC fall premieres follows, along with some vintage Muppet mayhem to tide you over in these trying times. (New series in bold.)

Friday, September 11

10 p.m.: 20/20

Monday, September 14

8 p.m.: Dancing With The Stars

Monday, Septmeber 21

10 p.m.: Castle

Tuesday, September 22

8 p.m.: The Muppets

8:30 p.m.: Fresh Off The Boat

9 p.m.: Dancing With The Stars: The Reults

Wednesday, September 23

8 p.m.: The Middle

8:30 p.m.: The Goldbergs

9 p.m.: Modern Family

9:30 p.m.: Black-ish

10 p.m.: Nashville

Thursday, September 24

8 p.m.: Grey’s Anatomy

9 p.m.: Scandal

10 p.m.: How To Get Away With Murder

Friday, September 25

8 p.m.: Last Man Standing

9 p.m.: Shark Tank

Sunday, September 27

8 p.m.: Once Upon A Time

9 p.m.: Blood & Oil

10 p.m.: Quantico

Tuesday, September 29

9 p.m.: Agents Of S.H.I.E.L.D.

10 p.m.: Beyond The Tank

Friday, October 2

8:30 p.m.: Dr. Ken

Sunday, October 11

7 p.m.: America’s Funniest Home Videos

Tuesday, October 27

10 p.m.: Wicked City

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