One of the best things about any music store is one’s ability to test out the instruments you’re looking to buy. Unfortunately, this perk tends to attract the same people who can’t help but snatch up the acoustic guitar sitting in the corner of any house party. For years, Wayne’s World served as the best glimpse into what constitutes obnoxious behavior in such settings—“No ‘Stairway’! Denied!”—but now Tyler Larson of YouTube channel Music Is Win has broken it down step by step.
It’s not just churning out entry-level Scorpions and Black Sabbath riffs (though that’s part of it), nor does it boil down to the contortions of one’s “stank face” (though that’s part of it, too). Probably the greatest sin of guitar store douches is the endless, endless tuning, which extends both to electric guitars and acoustic ones, which attract their own brand of douchebag.
In the end, however, it’s the thirstiness of these would-be shredders, the sense that they’re putting on a show rather than actually testing the thing out. There’s no bigger douchebag than the one who plucks away for hours before leaving with not a dime spent.