It’s been more than seven years since Harry Potter And The Deathly Hallows hit bookshelves, but that doesn’t mean fans aren’t still poking holes in J.K. Rowling’s intricately detailed, often poorly thought out Wizarding World. HitFlix shared one question posed by Tumblr user Taruielf, who inquires after the logistics of the magical prison Azkaban (the wizarding version of Alcatraz). Since Azkaban is run by demonic creatures called Dementors and they keep their prisoners under a constant level of psychological torture, Taurielf wants to know who actually gets shit done at Azkaban. She asks:
If there are only Dementors and prisoners in Azkaban then who makes the food??? Is there a Dementor in the prison kitchen wearing a kiss the cook apron and making pancakes for the inmates? J.K [Rowling] explain yourself.
The catch here is that it’s basically unbearable to be around a group of Dementors for too long (they feed on human happiness), so it’s hard to imagine wizards signing up to work in a prison run by them. The prisoners are definitely too emotionally disturbed to handle sharp knives/hot liquids themselves. And while it’s possible Azkaban is managed by House Elves, that seems like a pretty cruel use of your servant/slave class, even by wizarding standards (and should require some immediate intervention from S.P.E.W.).
Anyway, since there’s no joke the Internet can’t stretch even further (see above paragraph), artist Marmalade Boxcar illustrated a pretty adorable glimpse into the secret lives of Dementors.
With the floodgates open, we can now move on to questioning other confusing elements of the Harry Potter series. Since wizards basically get sent to trade school at age 11, does that mean no one in the Wizarding World knows math beyond a fifth grade level? If Harry’s year has five Gryffindor boys, are there only 280 students in all of Hogwarts (just how small is the Wizarding World)? Is there any production element to the wizarding economy or does everyone either teach, run a shop, or work for the government? And most importantly—why the hell isn’t Muggle Studies a required class?