Pop culture obsessives writing for the pop culture obsessed.

A lost line from "Steamed Hams" has been discovered, reconfiguring time and space

Image: Fox

Earlier this month, we short-sightedly declared the lunatic, surprisingly malleable “Steamed Hams” as having “reached its zenith” when human meme Jeff Goldblum played Principal Skinner in the now-classic “22 Short Films About Springfield” scene. Ah, but that is not for us to declare; the shadowy, online cabal of comedic anarchists slowly working to deconstruct everything you’ve come to love control this narrative, and Simpsons writer Josh Weinstein may have just given them some more digital ammo.

Weinstein, who was a showrunner on the season that produced the bit, took to Twitter this morning to share a lost line from the scene. “What, you like Steamed Hams so much you wish there was more of it?” he asked his followers. “Even if it was one line we added in the 2nd draft but then cut because it wasn’t as good as the original? Okay, in honor of 22 Short Films About Springfield’s 22nd anniversary I give you page 22 of the 2nd draft.”


The deleted line, said by Superintendent Chalmers as he leaves Skinner’s house: “Good, I intend to use it next week in Albany when I give my speech to the Union of Amateur Astronomers. I’ll tell them about the aurora in your kitchen too. Thanks again.”

He’s not kidding about it not being as funny as the original, and it’s not as seismic a revelation as that time writer Bill Oakley shared the scene’s first draft, but, look, it’s more “Steamed Hams,” and this is the internet, so people are pretty happy.


Somewhere, someone is hunched over a keyboard, piecing together scraps of scattered Chalmers’ dialogue to insert the line into yet another iteration of the meme. Well, we hope so, at least.

Send Great Job, Internet tips to gji@theonion.com


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About the author

Randall Colburn

Randall Colburn is The A.V. Club's Internet Culture Editor. He lives in Chicago, occasionally writes plays, and was a talking head in Best Worst Movie, the documentary about Troll 2.