Seinfeld (Screenshot: YouTube)

Jerry Seinfeld got around in the 1990s. Or, at least, his fictional counterpart did. One of the running jokes on Seinfeld is that the title character relentlessly cycled through girlfriends and would break up with women for the flimsiest of reasons. If they had man hands or an irritating laugh, they were history, baby. By one count, over the course of nine seasons and 180 episodes, the New York comedian and self-confessed neat freak had 66 different girlfriends. Another site puts the count at 70. Among the prominent actresses who played doomed, short-term Seinfeld paramours: Courteney Cox, Tawny Kitaen, Teri Hatcher, Lauren Graham, Janeane Garofalo, and Jane Leeves.

Purely in terms of volume, Seinfeld put The Nails’ “88 Lines About 44 Women” to shame. Speaking of music, the seminal NBC sitcom left the airwaves in 1998, a year too soon to have featured “What These Bitches Want” by DMX on its soundtrack. This historical injustice has been righted, however, by Yahoo! Movies’ Kevin Polowy, who has edited a 35-second supercut entitled “DMX Names All Of Seinfeld’s Girls.” The 1999 song, a cut from …And Then There Were X, makes the perfect counterpart to the romantic misadventures of Seinfeld as DMX lists all the women in his life (including “about three Kims”) in that much-imitated, growly voice of his.

He’s rarely discussed in these terms, but Seinfeld’s character is revealed here to be a modern day Lothario with an enviable track record of seducing beautiful women. Since the character is depicted as being only moderately successful, it seems unlikely that these ladies were gold diggers. Perhaps Seinfeld’s secret was his sense of humor. Or maybe it was his impeccable hygiene that drove the ladies crazy. Whatever he was doing, it was working.

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