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Totally qualified expert Kellyanne Conway will solve the nation's opioid crisis

In a move that suggests Donald Trump owed Kellyanne Conway one hell of a favor, BuzzFeed is reporting that Attorney General/imp from the fifth dimension Jeff Sessions has announced that Conway will “oversee White House efforts to combat the opioid overdose epidemic.” It’s unclear why anyone would choose Conway for…

Trader Joe's forced to confirm its Jingle Jangle isn't Riverdale's meth-like Jingle Jangle

Fans of both semi-artisanal chain grocery stores and Riverdale, this story’s for you: Trader Joe’s has been forced to deny its Jingle Jangle holiday mix of chocolate covered pretzels, popcorn, and peanut butter cups has anything to do with Riverdale’s drug of choice, also called Jingle Jangle. (On the show, it keeps…

Detailed allegations against Matt Lauer have emerged, and they're disgusting

Earlier today, NBC fired Matt Lauer after receiving “a detailed complaint from a colleague about inappropriate sexual behavior” on the part of the longtime Today show anchor. In a statement from the network that Lauer’s ex-colleague Savannah Guthrie read on the air, NBC said this was the first formal complaint it had…

Ridley Scott enthusiastically explains his decision to recast Kevin Spacey in All The Money In The World

Hollywood is facing a long-overdue campaign of housecleaning at the moment, as decades-worth of accusations of sexual harassment and assault against powerful men are finally coming to light (and actually being listened to, for once). This sweeping out of the alleged bums has had any number of knock-on effects in the…

Fox orders more episodes of Ghosted, might reframe it as a workplace comedy

New Fox comedy series Ghosted stars reliably funny people Adam Scott and Craig Robinson as paranormal investigators fumbling their way through a jokey take on The X-Files, but the best thing anyone can really say about the show is that it’s mostly fine. Fox is apparently a little disappointed in the show as well, but…

Radiohead would rather play a show than attend the Rock & Roll Hall Of Fame ceremony

Radiohead just announced its first tour dates of 2018, a handful of stops at South American music festivals. But one gig stands out among the rest: April 14 in Buenos Aires. That also happens to be the date of the Rock & Roll Hall Of Fame ceremony, which the band would ostensibly be invited to attend if its first-time…

Garrison Keillor throws himself a pity party after being fired for "inappropriate behavior"

Garrison Keillor is suddenly relevant again, and not in a good way. The former host of A Prairie Home Companion has been fired from Minnesota Public Radio over “allegations of his inappropriate behavior with an individual who worked with him,” as the network put it in a statement released earlier today. That statement…

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We regret to inform you the president of Twitter has logged on

Heralded by a million dead and ancient modems awakening to screech a hellish “Hail To The Chief,” the president of Twitter has logged on and, my fellow Americans, the president is once again mad on the internet. The commander of Tweets began his workday as he always does, hunched over his seven-foot gold toilet in the…

It's dark and hell is hot, but at least we have DMX's "Rudolph The Red-Nosed Reindeer"

Everything is awful and it’s Christmas, when the free-floating anxieties of the year are only compounded by the forced merriment of the season and, especially, the empty cheer of Christmas music. With a few exceptions, most Christmas music is also terrible, an assemblage of saccharine, nostalgic platitudes crafted by…

No amount of beer pong can keep Jimmy Fallon from slipping in the ratings

Even though escapist TV is still very much in order these days, The Tonight Show With Jimmy Fallon isn’t seen as much of a safe haven anymore. Host Jimmy Fallon’s famously innocuous blend of pop culture parody and giggle fests, which once made him the king of late-night TV, is failing to connect with viewers these…

Birthdays are bullshit in this exclusive preview of Michel Fiffe’s Zegas

Most comic readers will know Michel Fiffe from his self-published superhero series Copra, which reimagines DC’s Suicide Squad and other ’80s superheroes with a radically innovative art style and a story that is both emotionally grounded and exceptionally weird. All of those creative elements are on display in Zegas, a…