50 Cent (or “Half-Dollar,” as Stephen Colbert insists on calling the rapper, actor, and Bitcoin and champagne mogul) turned up on Friday’s Late Show to swap tales of the benefits of being rich. Of course, there’s rich and super-rich, and guy with late-night CBS money Colbert was left goofing incredulously on 50's cache of self-given Christmas cars. (Basically every one of the most extravagantly luxurious automobiles you can think of, including two Rolls Royces, one a convertible, since, as he explained, “Summertime, the truck ain’t gonna be as cool as it is now.”)
But, as far as obscenely wealthy people go, 50 came off as pretty charming, clearly enjoying wowing Colbert with offhand tales of throwing a recent party in Monaco, and buying Mike Tyson’s too-big mansion. “You ever look down the hallway of your house and you don’t wanna go down there?,” was his question to Colbert, explaining the distance is so far, sometimes it’s just not worth the trip. (Man, been there, 50.) As to his sojourns to the South of France, the affable 50 also renewed his beef with Colbert over their mutual love for Hollywood queen (she’s played a lot of queens), Helen Mirren. Referring to Mirren’s 2016 Late Show appearance where Mirren planted an unexpected open-mouthed kiss on the gobsmacked Colbert, the Den Of Thieves star grudgingly recognized game, even as he noted how he recently ran into Mirren—in the South of France, naturally. Saying that she was with her husband, Taylor Hackford, at the time, 50 showed his deadpan unimpressed face at her ongoing marriage to the 74-year old, Oscar-nominated director of Ray, while extolling the sexiness of Mirren’s old school confidence, which, sure.
Back to the subject of beefs, Colbert—who once unsuccessfully asked his guest for beefing lessons with celebrity chef Bobby Flay—mentioned the widely reported story of 50's with fellow rapper and longtime rival in beef Ja Rule. Repeating the claim that, back in October, he bulk-bought the first four rows of a Ja Rule concert just to leave them empty, the occasionally-bankrupt 50 Cent explained to Colbert, “They was, like, on Groupon for 15 dollars, it’s no big deal.” Claiming the stunt only cost him around $3000—probably the cost of a replacement Rolls Royce gas cap or something—50 seemed to indicate that the beef continues. Call it discount beef.