It’s the 30th anniversary of Super Mario Bros., but life hasn’t always been gold coins and power ups for everyone’s favorite plumber turned adventurer. In a new commentary recorded for the celebration, Mario reveals just how awful an experience it was to travel via pipes constantly searching for his lost love.

The short video was created by The Watercooler for Mashable, and is a hilarious, if dark, look into the mindset of a now middle-aged Mario who is still learning to cope with the traumatic experiences he underwent in that video game. Underneath those high scores and 1-ups is the shattered soul of a tortured man who has been to hell and back.